GETTING AROUND THIS PLACE

The thing about walkers, and medical equipment in general, is that I could start a store here. We have four wheelchairs now, Odd is using none of them. Peg is using none of them. The Visiting Nurses sent Odd back from Laurel Lake Nursing home in one and threw in a walker for good measure. The VN then ordered another wheelchair for him, for reasons unknown, and that arrived a few days later. 

When Hospice came on board in November, they have their own equipment, so in came a hospital bed for Odd--which is great, once you figure out all those buttons so you don't have him  jacknifing at the waist or needing a stepladder to get in or out--and also one of those moveable tables that goes over your bed which we use in den in front of his chair, plus another walker and a wheelchair. 

After Odd fell a few times, forgetting he was in a wheelchair (it went out from under him; he doesn't use the foot supports, he shoots around in it kiddie-car style, using his feet to get anywhere) and we had to call the fire department and then the police to help lift him, we decided maybe a wheelchair wasn't a good idea, so he went back to just using the walker, but meanwhile got sent another wheelchair from Hospice which he can lay his head back in and nap, should he ever feel the need. The VN was supposed to collect their equipment, see, when Hospice came on board, but they didn't. 

Added to this, Peg already had a kind of shopping cart/wheel chair/walker thing she uses to get around stores, with brakes on it, plus a folding wheelchair, plus a walker like the kind(s) Daddy has. His has tennis balls on its front legs so we can tell it's his and Peg has tied scarves on her two. Odd sits down at the butcher block from one direction and gets up from the other (it's a swivel stool), the side he has not left his walker on, so doesn't see it, so takes one of Peg's, not understanding scarf or tennis ball rules. Peg, who never has her walker near her when she needs it, staggers out from her living quarters (formerly known as the Living Room) with two canes, spies her chiffon-scarfed walker in Odd's hands, lights into him, Odd says "Oh Christ!" and bangs his table, Peg goes on into the kitchen, settles herself on her side of the butcherblock, hooks her canes over the oven door and hits the Weather Channel.

There is an abandoned walker or wheelchair in this house approximately every seven feet. Plus two leftover from my great aunt Elise in the attic. 
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STAFF ON CALL:

Bonnie  8 AM - 3 PM

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HIGHLIGHTS, NOT COUNTING BRUISING HIP ON WALKER HANDLE AFTER TRIPPING OVER CANE:

Emptying Odd's urinal, not the vase in which it sits, sometimes mistaken for a urinal.

Starting another Peg Project, sorting her what I call Convention Scripts (Ethel and Alberts performed at Old Time Radio & TV Conventions over the past 30 years) into folders i.e. all :"Two Times Nothing" in one, "Driving Albert To Work" in another and so on. Instead of how she has them, all jumbled into a box, some paper clipped some not, and where you have to hunt for Page One. There are about 40 titles. So far. Some are her's with "Ethel" in red and her markings. These I will have her sign, ready for the website. If she ever gets up from her nap. Went down at 1:00 PM. It's now 7. Better go get her up so she's not up all night rearranging furniture (and annoying me).

Am now in a terrible mood because the popcorn I'd been saving for The Day's Treat, turns out to be the Sweet & Salty variety, not the plain salt. (Alex? Did you buy this?)
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And PS at 8:30 PM. What is it with all the sugar in everything over here?? They wanted hot dogs and baked beans and I found some buns and a bag of Price Chopper Caesar Salad. Felt like I was  spooning straight from the sugar bowl all through dinner. The bun tasted like cotton candy. Even the salad dressing. I don't remember food being like this. Was it?