TERMINEX MEN

Carl and Scott the Terminex Men came yesteday to assess the situation, make their diagnosis, and put forth a plan of action. Before you get too excited, you should know that Terminex has nothing to do with Hospice, say, or Digitas--they are exterminators, true, but of the rodent removal variety. Meaning they visit the Becket property once every few months to eliminate mice and while they're there spray for spiders, Peg's bete noire, and check for signs of any other infestation--bats, beetles, birds, squirrels, sudden influx of care-givers, you name it. Yesterday's Terminex visit was reported to me in full, by Bonnie, and centered around Terminex's concerns about the standing water in the basement, sump pumps, doors leading down into the basement from the outside, and the prevention of termites. Oh, and icicles hanging from the eaves. 

The Terminex Men suggest--because I know you're interested in this, and will get their phone number to you soon--new "stock steel" doors for the outside cellar doors, which sound cheap; a new inner cellar door; digging deeper trenches for both sump pumps; and re-insulating the entire attic. The result of all this expense being, according to Terminex, fewer mice getting in, fewer draughts in the basement (that old constant worry), a warmer attic, and The Prevention of Termites.

I have now answered Bonnie's email, in full, the gist of it being that..

…if Outside Bob can dig a deeper hole in which to place Sump Pump 1, and or 2, fabulous, but I don't want the Terminex Men doing it (their suggestion). And if Bob can't dig one, too bad, there has been water in the basement since my parents moved there in 1970. There is in fact a river running through the basement and always has been, hence the two sump pumps. Which work fine. The water just flows through then out and down the hill. There might presently an inordinate amount of water down there because it is winter and Becket has had an inordinate amount of snow.

… in forty-five years of living in the house, there has never been any sign of termites, water or no water in the basement (a potential breeding ground, according to Terminex). Futhermore it is a house made exclusively of field stone  walls two feet thick. I don't think we need worry about termites, unless they're the granite-eating variety.

…I have no intention of shelling out for two steel doors for the hatch nor a new lower inner door into the basement. There have been mice getting into the house since Peg and Odd moved in. Mice do that. It's a house in the country. Country houses have mice. They can crawl through the teeniest of gaps, they get in around pipes, through air breaks, every which way. The idea that armies of them are using the basement steps like a freeway is far-fetched to say the least. Besides which, there is no particular mouse problem at the moment, they have not been running riot in the cupboards or partying until the wee hours or doing, in fact, anything wrong at all except perhaps stepping onto those sticky traps in the attic).

…the attic which in fact does not require any more insulation,  there's already 10 inches of the stuff under the flooorboards and this has worked perfectly well for forty-five years. No one has yet died in their beds of of hypothermia. And thicker insulation will not "save us money in the long run" because, well, there is no long run really, is there. 

…my father always worried about icicles over the front doors so whacked at them from an upstairs window. This procedure can be repeated by Outside Bob (from inside), at no expense, not counting the hospital bill when he falls out. There is no need, that I can see, for Carl and Scott the Ace Terminex Men, Prevention of Rodent Infesdtation and Icicle Removal Our Specialty, to get involved. 

So you see what happens when I'm not there? Plus Peg has just shelled out another $12 a month to get some Italian TV channel because Tina her hairdresser, who is Italian, and speaks it, which Peg doesn't, said she loved watching.